Old-Man:Ah.., College.
You've been told your whole life that it is the next logical and natural step after highschool.
And you've also been told that it's prohibitively no cheap.
College is one among the most important investments of your lifetime.
So it deserves your careful consideration and strategy.
What you decide now will have a tremendous impact on your future.
So think about it, or you can just trust it.
I have your best interests in mind.
Hi, I'm... some guy.
Here at Hortons student loans will help you with the funding you need for your colleges largely arbitrary price tag without worrying you with interest or credit ratings.
So you can focus on the important things like making sure you don't have any classes room is embellished in a very way that may impress your highschool self and embarrass your future real self.
Still hate them in five years.
Young-Student:
It's tasteful.
Old-Man:
You don't know anything about anything.
They're one of the classes you could and should take will be economics, which will sure enough teach you an intricate detail concerning how you have been screwed here.
Lots of stuff concerning inflation-adjusted pay increases however it'll solely make sense within the abstract sense because we've rigorously designed The Cool College Experience to insulate you from real financial responsibility as much as possible.
Everything about college is designed to trick you into thinking you're an adult one.
Really, it's closer to adult training wheels or to put a more bluntly book to keep children safe.
Your one student loan which you won't have to start paying or even look at, until you graduate, covers your housing and most of your groceries, so you won't need to learn how to budget for these fundamental human necessities, until you graduate, can't get a job and your parents start charging you for both.
Young-Student:
No. When I leave college, I'll have a high paying job.
I mean, that's what you're paying for.
When you go to college, you're buying a degree that makes you qualified for a good job.
Old-Man:
Well, that's what I've certainly convinced you is true.
In reality, the national student loan debt is at 1/4 two trillion dollars, which translates to a whole lot of fancy graduates who don't have jobs that can actually pay back the loans we forced them to take out.
Young-Student:
But, it's possible. I mean both of my parents went to college, and they're not in debt
anymore.
Old-Man:
Don't bother asking them for advice.
When they were in faculty they might pay money for it with a summer job.
That'd only be possible today if your summer job was being Elon Musk.
The new reality is that it's almost not possible to make student debt disappear even though you go bankrupt. I still don't know. I managed to pull that one off.
Young-Student:
Can I..., Are there loan companies that are better that I can choose from?
Old-Man:
No! The government decides what companies you borrow from.
And then your debt can actually be sold multiple times.
The different organizations beyond your control.
And they can do whatever they want with your debt.
Rich-Jerk:
Hey? I just bought your debt.
And I'm gifting you the opportunity to put off paying for six whole months as a side effect will be paying for literally 50 years, but hey, time is money, right?
I wouldn't know.
I didn't go to college, seemed expensive.
My dad gave me this job, bye!
Old-Man:
Of course, it's not like this money's wasted.
It goes right into the school's endowment, which is used to pay for things like tuition assistance and fellowships.
But mostly to play the stock exchange in 2014.
Yale's twenty-six billion dollar endowment, made almost 500 million in hedge funds, and put just under 200 million of that towards its actual students.
So, your tuition bucks are creating America's 1% rich even before you graduate.
Hey, you're not so unprepared for the real world after all.